|
We hear a lot about the
Supermum Syndrome but rarely about our Superdads.
We place higher expectations on
fathers in today's society than ever before. Unlike previous
generations, dads today are expected to take a proactive role in caring
for the children physically as well as financially.
Gone are the days when a man
arrives home from work, loosens his tie, slips off his shoes, and
reclines in the Lazyboy with his newspaper, which he thumbs through as
he waits for his dinner to be served.
Today, many dads don't get that
decompression time after a day at work. Some of the dads pick up their
children from daycare on their way home. Others are immediately struck
with the hassles of the day while they struggle to make the instant
transition from professional to father.
As a stay-at-home mum, I often wondered why my husband
would sit in the car for a few muments after he pulled into the driveway. Until, that is, one day when my husband watched
our one-year-old, and it was my turn to come home exhausted from a busy
and hectic day. How I wished I had stayed in the car just long enough to
take a few deep breaths.
Today's dads, much like many of
today's mums, must juggle the guilt of not spending enough time with the
family with the guilt of not giving it their all at work.
But women seem to have more
support with their struggle. Magazine articles, support groups, and websites warn mums of the risks of burning out and the
importance of taking care of themselves. They dole out advice on
balancing life and relationships. Fathers don't often band together like
mums do.
Even while men are expected to
independently take on a more nurturing role, they are slammed in the
media. We watch television shows that too often portray fathers as bumbling
idiots, scared stiff of changing their own baby's diaper and
incapable of anything other than watching a ball game and slugging beer.
We sit through news reports of deadbeat dads and women who have beaten
the odds despite, not with the help of, the men in their lives.
As natural nurturers, women
have long taken on the social stereotype of being the dominant parent.
Sometimes--and I hate to admit that I'm guilty of this, too--we may
subconsciously sabotage their parenting efforts to make ourselves feel
more important.
It's important for us to
recognize that dads interact with children differently than we do. These
techniques are neither better nor worse. Just different. Dads may tend
to allow the child to reach a higher level of frustration than a mother
would, which may be an important lesson in resilience.
The father serves an integral
role in a child's life. Spending time with both parents helps
children develop an understanding of separation, transition, autonomy,
and gender roles.
Here's to all of the
great dads out there, and all of the men who strive to be great dads.
Here's to my husband, who would make a better stay-at-home parent than
I. He is more patient and more experienced with children. He rarely gets bored, even on the afternoon's eighth reading of Green Eggs and
Ham. In his downtime, he does a load of laundry and whips up a heaping
platter of Beef Stroganoff when all I see in the fridge is pickles and
ketchup.
I'm going downstairs to
interrupt Dr. Seuss and to tell him how much I appreciate the work he
does. Maybe it's time we all spent just a few minutes thinking about the
pressures our husbands, and to applaud them for all the things they do.
|